"10. Mold it into a man and watch her husband have sex with it.
9. Apply it to both the front and rear bumpers of her SUV, and slide out of any possible
road accidents.
8. Press it through the Play-Doh Fun-Factory set to “spaghetti” mode and donate it
to “Locks of Love”.
7. Use it to help lubricate your way into (and out of) size 0 jeans.
6. Use it in a sandwich.
5. Use it as a body pillow so that she can finally have something to spoon at night.
4. Rub a little
behind her ears so that all of the neighborhood dogs follow you around like St.
Francis of Assissi. When asked, claim that animals are naturally drawn to you, as a miniature pincher happily licks the bacon paste from your head.
3. Mold it into Barbara Walters and splash a handful of anal oils on her face.
2. Use it to fry up 7 years worth of morning grits.
1. No, really. We’re pretty sure your husband will have sex with it."
Or she could start her own line of soap, "Star Soap".
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